It’s that time of year again: cold and flu season.
The time of year my germaphobe self particularly loathes.
If you thought being a germaphobe was a hard knock lifestyle in America, it’s a downright torturous in Italy.
You see, Italy has some rules and ideas about sickness that we don’t prescribe to as Americans.
And, as such, it means that one, there are more germs floating around than there should be, and two, the modes of catching said germs are entirely different.
So, in honor of the inevitable sniffles, I give you:
Nine rules about getting sick in Italy.
Rule #1: Respect the cold winter months.
Ambient temperature is arbitrary; it’s the months that matter. Starting October 1 everyone should immediately begin covering necks and toes.
Want to look like an American in Italy? Wear flip-flops in October. It doesn’t matter if it is 90 degrees with a UV index of 10; you better cover up because this month marks the beginning of the cold weather months. The powers responsible for sickness wake-up from their summer slumber, ready to infect anyone who might…
Rule #2: Get hit by air.
Literally called a hit of air, colpo d’aria is a real thing. Lest you leave your house with a morsel of skin showing, this powerful phenomenon will find you, and you will, of course, immediately be rendered ill. How ill? Well that depends on how foolish you were. That 90-degree October day when you decided shorts and a t-shirt were oh-so-right? Wrong. Pneumonia is certainly in your near future.
Rule #3: Don’t prendi freddo!
Speaking of getting hit by air, be sure you never, ever prendi freddo. This “taking of cold” can happen from something as simple as drinking ice water or riding your motorino with your stomach exposed.
Rule #4: Cervicale is a real threat.
You may suffer from cervicale. This serious sounding ailment is actually a vague description for a cold/aching neck. It is entirely different from sleeping on your neck wrong and developing and kink as this ailment is brought on almost exclusively by exposure. How to avoid it? Never leave your home with wet hair and don’t even think about going out without a scarf!
Rule #5: Poop matters.
Let’s talk about poop. Bowel movements in Italy are an indication of health (to be fair, I should have realized this one because my Italian grandfather used to start every conversation with, “How are you?” immediately followed by, “Did you poop today?”).
It’s not unusual to have a discussion with your friends about your intestinal function. Also, if you get the vague American “stomachache”, a word we use to describe a manner of ailments from heartburn to raging diarrhea, be prepared to get specific. One time after a horrible food poisoning incident, I was tactfully recounting the day to my friends.
Truthfully, I had spent the entire day vomiting every 15 minutes but I told them I was “sick with a stomach bug.” Instantly, I was bombarded with questions. Was it my intestines that hurt or was it my stomach? My liver? Maybe my neck was exposed or I walked barefoot at home? Did I have cervicale? Had I drank ice water recently? Before this, I had no idea that I was supposed to be able to feel every one of my digestive organs and pinpoint the exact cause of my distress.
Rule #6: It’s not germs, it’s exposure.
Germs don’t cause illnesses, exposure does. This goes back to rule #1 but it deserves its own point because, for a germaphobe, this is the most difficult thing for me to understand. You see, when I’m sick, I wash my hands, take care not to infect others, etc. Italians, due to the overwhelming belief in rule #s 2-4, don’t feel the same way. Sneezing into their hands and then shaking yours? No biggie, just make sure your neck and stomach are covered!
Rule #7: Your liver is king (or queen).
Get ready to know your liver intimately. In Italy your liver is a very fickle organ. One day, it can hurt, and the next it can cause you to eat like gaining 40 lbs. is your New Year’s resolution. The same liver can cause you to lose weight, give you acne, mess up your period and generally wreak all manner of hell upon your life.
Before moving to Florence, I was vaguely aware that I had a liver and it did cool things like allowing me to drink wine. Now I know that when I get a huge zit or gain a pound, my liver is to blame. So far, I haven’t encountered anyone who knows what to do about this tempestuous organ, minus vague indications that I should “listen to what it wants” and eat extra artichokes.
Rule #8: Antibiotics are the cure-all.
Antibiotics cure everything. I have never seen so many people abuse antibiotics as I do in Italy (and that’s saying something because we love antibiotics in America, too). I have watched them handed out without a prescription for someone who had a minor cough, and I have seen them taken at day two of a cold, before the cold even has a chance to develop.
I also have a friend who carries an old antibiotic prescription in his wallet at all times. Whenever he feels a “tickle” (due to cervicale or cold exposure, obviously) he heads to the pharmacy for a handy candy pack of amoxicillin.
Rule #9: Sickness begets sickness.
Any sickness can and will turn into another sickness. So, if you have a cold, your life will suck for 7-10 days while your immune system fights it out. Not so in Italy. In Italy, without the proper precautions and medication, your cold, can quickly become the flu, bronchitis or diarrhea (see #5).
Germs here are tricky buggers, and they can morph into any random illness at any given time lest you are unprepared.
Have you ever heard of these or experienced similar stories?
Please keep in mind that obviously, not ALL Italians believe in ALL of these rules! A special thanks goes out to my best gal pals, S.G and C.M for their invaluable input, patient explanations and always putting up with my bare (Italian) American neck.
Very cute and funny Rachel. Also, well written! It’s so true having both Italian and Lebanese parents.
Hi Rachel,
Thank so much for these amusing insights. I can relate to two of your points. One, going out with wet hair. My mom always used to tell me this. And not just going out, but sleeping with wet hair. Funny, cause that is exactly what i have told my daughters, haha. The second point about the liver. I chuckle because my mother in law who came from samll country in C.A. Belize used to blame ailments from feeling a bit under the weather to full blown intestinal distress to the liver. She would say that one was “bilious”!!! ” you have to clean out your liver.” It seems all cultures have these remedies, be they old wives tales or not.
Yeah. All these things drive me to distraction here in southern Italy. Two drops of rain and ‘But, it’s raining! You can’t go outside. You’ll get sick!’ ‘But your hair’s wet: don’t you have a hairdryer? You’ll get sick!’ Actually, it’s even worse: some people here still talk about the four humors, although how the ubiquitous antibiotics are supposed to influence these, no-one has yet been able to tell me.
Hi Rachel,
I am Australian and I am studying printmaking in Firenze for all this year- we have been here two months and we are really enjoying it. I have been careful not to go out with wet hair- probably as I would have been snap frozen earlier in February! The scarf thing is quite funny, sometimes you can hardly see peoples heads just a big furry coat collar, covered by a huge scarf with just their eyes showing. How they can see where they are going and don’t walk in all the dog poop is a mystery to me. Someone needs to show me the art of putting on a scarf- it seems to involve a lot of folding and tucking……
Che bella storia, cara! Spero che stia bene e buona fortuna in Italia!
Hilarious! I’m American living here in Italy and your observations are spot on. You cannot tell what the temperature is outside by observing what people are wearing. Hilarious! Complimenti!!
Rachel,
Great fun to read these gems of wisdom. I didn’t think many of your” pearls of knowledge” were unusual when I was growing up in an Italian neighborhood. They were all considered normal. It wasn’t until I went to college that I became aware that a scarf was not an everyday necessity, no matter what the temperature was, and I became aware that every body function should not be discussed.
Grazie di cuore, Chris! Glad to know other people are experiencing the same thing 🙂
Grazie tanto, Adele per le belle parole! 🙂
Haha! I laughed out loud! As a dog owner myself, I find it particularly frustrating that these beautiful streets are covered in poo – add walking with almost no peripheral vision due to hood, hat, scarf attire, it gets complicated! 🙂 Hope you enjoy the rest of your time in la bella Firenze!
I can imagine it must be even more intense in the south. Hats off to you navigating it!
Isn’t it interesting that even countries that are no where near each other have the same ideas about sickness? Maybe there is some truth to these things after all! 🙂
Thanks! 🙂
Another typical belief in Italy is that if one baths or swims during „digestion“ he will die.
I even got this taught in elementary school, and I was explained that digestion can last 3 or even 4 hours if one had a large meal. The mechanism is a blockage of digestion caused by cold water (cold… in Italy nobody swims if water is not at least 20C/68F). A movie for children I saw in TV went even more far: this irreversible: digestion stops, you die, doctors can’t help you.
With these assumptions, I never enjoyed going to the beach, since I didn’t trust to go in water before 4 pm, whatever my parents said.
Growing up and being scientifically curious, I started to worry why cold water can block digestion, while cold air cannot. I got a new explanation: it is not that digestion is blocked, it is that during digestion cold causes cramps that in water prevent one from swimming.
Then during my studies at the university, I was surprised that during the courses of pathology or physiology we were never explained the mechanism of this important and dangerous disease and I decided to check scientific literature. Of course finding no mention of it.
Well at least scientists and doctors know that this is a hoax…
…I thought, until I read of a tragedy where a child drowned. In the autopsy the doctor has certified that this happened because of the cold during digestion and now parents are getting prosecuted.
Haha, yes there is very true! Thanks for sharing!
I have to admit this made me giggle. I am a nurse and have spent a fair amount of time in Italy and with locals and this post is comically accurate.