When speaking Italian, a misplaced or a mispronounced letter can change the meaning and botch what you’re trying to say.
Case in point: One night at aperitivo, my American friend wanted to order the classic Italian pre-dinner cocktail called “negroni.”
Unfortunately for him, he very politely and very seriously asked our waitress instead for a “negrone”, a derogatory term for a large black man.
In the end, after hysterical tears of laughter, he did manage to get the drink he wanted and escaped with only a slightly bruised ego.
We still laugh about this today and we’ve all been there; it is so easy to make these mistakes!
Below I’ve compiled 5 (not entirely for polite company) easily mixed up words.
You’ve been warned!
5 Parole Pericolose in Italiano
1. Penne vs. Pene
We all know and love penne pasta, but how many of us have inadvertently ordered penis pasta without even realizing it?
In Italian, when there are two of the same consonants next to each other, the vowel before it is elongated.
The difference can be tricky for non-native speakers, but it is so very, very important.
Remember, penne (pehhh-neh) is pen/pasta and pene (pen-eh) is penis!
2. Tetti vs. Tette
You’re standing in Florence, admiring the view and the amazing red roofed buildings below.
You turn to your friend and tell her you just adore the sight of these beautiful, magnificent, rooftops.
But, what you didn’t realize is that instead of saying, tetti (roofs) you said tette (breasts).
Congratulations on quickly becoming one of the most perverted people in Italy.
3. Pisolino vs. Pisellino
After a long day of sightseeing, you may need to fare un pisolino. This means to take a nap, but say the word pisolino incorrectly and you’re having/making or even worse, doing, a small penis.
The difference is tiny (pun intended) and easy to make.
Pisolino is nap and pisellino is a small pene.
4. Anno vs. Ano
The ever so dangerous anno and ano.
Those double n’s are no joke.
In Italian to express age, the verb avere (to have) is used, so if you forget to pronounce this word correctly you’re telling someone how many assholes you have, instead of years.
5. Scopare
Scopare…I can best describe the double context of this word (which in it’s most innocent context means “to sweep”) with a story.
In college, my Italian professor was demonstrating the importance of direct and indirect object pronouns and verb conjugation.
She told us about when she was studying in Italy and participating in a homestay. The housemother had asked her what she would like to do around the house to help out.
Lacking the words, she went into her room to consult her dictionary and came back intending to proclaim that she could “sweep the floors.”
When my professor returned to the kitchen, the house mother was gone, but the house father was there in her place.
Enthusiastically, she walked up to him and said, “Mi scopa!”
He spit out his coffee, turned red, and quickly left the room.
Later that day the housemother, choking back laughter, explained that my instructor had inadvertently just invited her 80-year-old house father to make dirty, naughty, Italian love.
Have you committed mixed up any of these dangerous words before, or do you have a story to tell about funny misunderstandings? Tell me in the comments below!
Not necessarily a dangerous mixup, but funny nonetheless: My husband and I stopped at a cafe in Assisi for a drink. When we were ready to go, my husband asked the waiter for the bill, but he pronounced “il conto” more like “il canto”. As a result, the waiter broke out in song! Then the jokester handed us our bill.
Very funny! I actually warned my husband that might happen to him – now I can tell him I wasn’t just kidding! 🙂
I just read your comment and it felt like the twilight zone. My wife and I were in Florence in 2014 and the same thing happened.I said “vorrei il conto” and the waiter gave me a look and said “you want me to sing?” I was at first dumbfounded until it dawned on me what he meant. And yes I was red faced and a little dejected that my poor Italian failed me.
Good ones! I actually witnessed the director of a study abroad program proclaim to the whole town in a speech how proud he was to have been here already for five anuses.
Yes, learning double consonants is a MUST.
HAH, oh I wish I had been there. Thanks for reading, Alexandra!
Tee hee. There’s also the one about asking for figs and not…
I think that one will be in my next post! 🙂
These are important words indeed. May I just suggest two corrections? The “pene” and “penne”: in the first one, the first “e” is short (you write pen-eh, but it should actually be pee-neh (or you can choose the pseudo IPA for transcription), and “penne” would be “penn-e” (the final “e” is not long).
Also, the “mi scopa”, would be a question (“Mi scopa?”) or, if it was more like an imperative, it would need inversion (“scopami”) which I think she didn’t say though…
Sono davvero parole che studenti dovrebbero imparare a pronunciare ed usare in contesti appropriati per evitare situazioni imbarazzanti. Grazie per la lista.
Ciao! Thanks for reading and your feedback. I had to laugh actually because I wrote these phonetically for a native English speaker and for us, the phonetics make sense the way I wrote it. I think you may have been pronouncing the phonetics differently as an English language learner. The way you wrote it is actually another dangerous word, that little boys learn to call their “pene” when they’re children – at least in the US…Hehe! 🙂 Regarding scopa, there are many errors with what she said, thus the reason it made it the list! As you said, these errors lead to learning. Thanks again for reading and taking the time to comment!
Good ones! I’m Italian but I perfectly understand the embarass. It also happened to me with English when I asked for the “grave” instead of the “gravy” 🙂
Oh wow, I need to keep track of these in reverse too – just for fun! Actually Italian friends have a problem with the word “beach.” They are always mispronouncing it – and I am always giggling when they say it!
A guy I knew tried to order a salad without “preservativi” (condoms in Italian for the non-speakers)!
HAHA! OK that might make my next list too! 🙂
My wife was once asking our Italian friends about their son’s new wife to be. She wanted to ask if they had met her parents (genitori). What came out was… ‘Avete visto Emma’s genitali?’ Oops! Laughter ensued. To this day my wife won’t go near the word genitori. And none of our friends will let her forget it!!
HAHA, I this reply is a few months late, but I just saw this now and it made me laugh out loud! What a great mixup! 🙂
A couple I’ve noticed and just some words I confused
Scopata p.p.- fucked vs scoppiata p.p.- burst vs scoperta- discovery and not a p.p. vs coperta- blanket vs copulato- p.p. copulate
risposati- get remarried vs riposati- relax
uscite sounds to my mother (who does not speak italian) very much like shit.
schifo vs scherzo
almeno- I always think is almost (my italian friend does the same in reverse when writing in english which made me feel better)
then I think meno che is at least rather than unless
genere vs genero
macina vs macchina
bacio vs basta
ridere vs sorridere
piangere vs piovere
zuccona vs zucchero vs zucchine (which in english is zucchini)
then across languages-
imbarazzata (embarrassed) vs embarazada (pregnant)
something like: I was embarassed by my teacher.
often ends up: I was impregnated by my teacher
I am not dyslexic but words that share letters in common, look or sound alike I confuse in any language. (For years I thought seldom and solemn were either the same word or mixed up the meanings and usages.)
mesmorize and memorize
persevere and perspire
There are many in English (madrelingua) I confuse. Then some in my languages and then across languages (I also study spanish).
Wow great list, thank you! I will be using some of these in the next post of the same theme.:)
I have been working on learning my italian for 2 months now just with the help of apps. This is was most insightful and hilarious. Grazie
I am glad you liked it! 🙂 Keep up the studies!
I told my Italian instructor that I was “molto sensitivo.” Little did I know that meant that I communicate with dead people :-/
And yes, I have made the “preservativi” mistake too!!
Omigod this is HILARIOUS!!!!! The last story is too much. ROFL
Haha so glad you liked it! 🙂
I tried once to conjugate the verb fornire – to supply – to imperfetto. To my own amusement and embarrassment got it all wrong. I got an odd look and a polite “do you know what you just said”.
Yes.yes. you do not have to explain. I know where I got it wrong, I quickly added.
Wow, this page is totally me. I studied Spanish in high school in the USA, and often find myself saying the words in Spanish automatically. I believe that is why I can understand when someone speaks to me and I can understand most of the written Italian. I am practicing, I just wish there was audio with this site so I could hear the pronunciation to help me out here.
Maybe someday! 🙂
I laughed so hard st the stories. Then I thought OMG learning Italiano is gonna be harder than I thought! I will probably mess up too. Lol. But I am a country girl from TN who has fallen madly & hopelessly in love with an Italiano man. He is mio amore & mio caro Principe and is helping me learn his language. He can melt my heart after just a few words in Italiano! What a sexy language from a very SEXY Italiano!! Lol. So glad you can’t see me blushing. Oh me!
Agree with you 100% that Italian is very sexy! Enjoy your principe! 🙂
I once confused pompino and pompieri during a fire. It was simultaneously awful and uproarious. I’ve used Vigile del Fuoco ever since.
HAHAH this is amazing!! 🙂
I did that. I would make up Italian words from english words and, yes, it usually worked. Two years ago I didn’t know the word inquinamento so I “Italianised” the english word pollution.
It wasn’t a good idea, especially when I said it happens a lot where I come from.