Warning: Potentially offensive and lewd phrases are included below.
There are some expressions that you’ll likely never learn in a classroom, so if you’ve been taking Italian in the classroom, get ready to learn some phrases that are a just a tad more relaxed.
And awesome.
1.) Sono brillo / brilla. – I’m tipsy.
SO-no BREE-low / BREE-lah
This expression was taught to me when I tried desperately to explain to an Italian ex-boyfriend that I was not quite drunk, but also definitely not sober.
He was stoked to learn the word tipsy too, and he said it at least fourteen times that night even though he was far more inebriated than I was.
It can be understood as high too, but I heard this less often.
2.) Ho preso una scimmia. – I’m wasted.
oh PREH-zo OOH-nah SHE-me-ah
This expression was taught to me when I was sober, which was a nice change of pace. It literally means ‘I have a monkey’, and is used to express total drunkedness. If you’re making fun of a friend, you can say ‘Hai preso una scimmia’.
3.) Hai un guanto? – Do you have a condom?
ai oon GWAHN-toe
Italians use the slang word ‘guanto’ for condom in the same classy fashion that Americans do. The appropriate word for condom is ‘preservativo’, but ‘guanto’ is just so much more amusing.
4.) Lui è come un polpo. – He is like an octopus.
LOO-ee eh KO-meh oon POLE-po
This phrase derives from a conversation with the Italian ex-boyfriend when he was describing his ex-girlfriend’s endearing stalker-like qualities.
Interesting to note if you happen to attract a stage 5 clinger while in beautiful Italia.
[photo credit: NOAA’s National Ocean Service]
5.) Sto godendo. – I’m in ecstasy.
sto go-DEN-doh
‘Godendo’ comes from the ‘godere’, which means ‘to enjoy’. It’s not always used in a sexual context, but it’s definitely that way in this expression.
You would use this during sex to express how completely you are enjoying yourself.
6.) Vaffanculo! – Fuck you. Fuck off.
va-fahn-KOO-low
Here’s an #Italianfail for you. I was with my friends in the Red Light District in Amsterdam, eating waffles and being all touristy, when a guy just walked up and acted blatantly rude and vulgar.
So, without thinking about the fact that other Italian speaking people might be in Amsterdam, I yelled ‘vaffanculo’ at him as he walked away.
Really, the shocked look on his face as he heard this coming from an Asian girl eating a waffle in Amsterdam was worth it, but he happened to be Italian and reply with something along the lines of ‘merda’ whatever.
Anywho, you can use this when some annoying guy just won’t leave you alone, but it is rather vulgar and offensive. It can also be used in the context of just saying ‘Fuck’, like you’re upset at a situation.
7.) Scusi, per favore, posso avere ancora un po’ di vino? – Excuse me, can I please have some more wine?
SKOO-zee, pear fah-VOH-reh, POHS-so ah-VARE-eh ahn-CORE-ah oon po dee VEE-no
So, they might teach you this in school, but I thought I’d throw it in for good measure. Being able to ask for more wine is a must.
8.) Sei una testa di cazzo. – You are a dickhead.
SEH-ee OOH-nah TEHST-ah dee KAH-tzo
This is an expression that you would use if you were, say, really mad at your Italian lover. I might’ve overused this in my time in Italy, along with using words like ‘inaffidabile’ or ‘unreliable’.
9.) Una figura di merda.
OOH-nah fee-GUR-ah dee MARE-dah
This phrase is used to express an event where you do something embarrassing or shameful and everyone is there to see it.
10.) Lei è una troia. – She’s a whore.
leh eh OOH-nah TROY-ah
Now, I am by no means a supporter of degrading women by using any negative words, but this one was too great for me to forget. It means prostitute or slut also, and it’s derived from Helen of Troy.
Really. Historical insults, ftw.
11.) Senti chi parla! – Look who’s talking!
SEHN-tee kee PAR-lah
This is used when you’re being sarcastic with someone.
For example, you have a friend who is dating a really sucky guy, but she’s telling you that you need to break up with your sucky guy because it’s better for your life.
In this situation, you would say ‘Senti chi parla!’
I hope you enjoyed the lewdness. :]
In the comments below, tell me one phrase that you would love to know but you can’t learn in the classroom.
Hi Cher, my nutty Italian boss (like everyone else it seems), finds it quite funny to teach a beginning Italian learner the naughty words first! Vaffanculo is one of his favourites..thanks for showing me how to spell it. I was too chicken to look it up….and I refuse to say it. Jan
Hahah. It’s true! And you’re welcome. I support you in not saying it. :]
Ciao Cher,
My italian friends tell me that mucca also means whore and even though it is more correct than vacca, when used, it makes most cringe. Have you heard that?
I just started with Iceberg Project and love it!
Grazie!
Diane
I haven’t heard of that! I’ll have to ask a friend about it, haha.
Ciao Cher
Ho visto la parola fregato. Significa damn in inglese??? In lo spagnolo abbiamo fregado.
Grazie e felice anno nuovo!!!
Ciao Maria!
Significa “cheated” in inglese più o meno. Buon capodanno! 😀
Cher, I love your work. Thanks for teaching us stuff that is fun to learn, like street slang. When I was in Milan a long time ago my Italian friends used to say, “Ma che cazzo vuoi?” It means, “But which cock do you want?” You say this when someone is being demanding and you can’t seem to please them. For emphasis, you hold up your hand in the person’s direction, put your thumb and three fingers together and dramatically shake them around. Have you heard this expression?
Ciao Celeste,
Great addition! I would probably translate it as more like, “what the F*** do you want?” in English, but you’re correct the meaning the same and can mean exactly as you wrote above. The hand gesture makes it particularly…poignant! :] Thanks for sharing!
I think I can help here, I’m Italian 🙂 “Vacca” is the term that you can use to say whore, “mucca” is a much nicer term, although you can refer to a big breasted woman if you say that and it is still offensive, you can also say “Cagna” which is literally “bitch”, this would definitely make me cringe.
A little note: some of this expressions are probably from a specific area, they might not be used and understood in other places. I’m from Northern Italy and “to have the monkey” means to us that you are craving something or you are obsessed, expecially used for drugs. I really enjoyed the article, I’m going to share with some friends 😀
Ciao Silvia! Thanks for your comments. You are correct of course and I appreciate all your input. I hope your friends like the article as well 🙂
Would like to receive free lessons
Ciao Ghada! You can sign up with your email and name on this page here –> icebergproject.co/italian
Ciao Cher! This is a very fun article and I love the paragraphs putting things into context. Come se dice “Talk dirty to me” o “say something sexy in Italian”
Grazie!
Hey Kristen! So glad you liked it. Instead of me telling you, let me direct you to this rabbit hole of all things romantic/sexy from Cosmo – http://www.cosmopolitan.it/sesso-amore/news/a77873/il-dirty-talk-a-letto/. Buon divertimento! ;]
tutti gli scarafaggi pensano che i loro bambini sono belli
All cockroaches think their babies are beautiful
At a parent teachers meeting at my son’s school my Neapolitan husband leaned over and whispered this in my ear. Lol
Oh, how very descriptive! Haha.
Manca “prendere per il culo”
Che è quello che farebbero gli italiani se usaste la fonetica sotto la frase in italiano.
Ciao, that’s a great expression too. 🙂
The meaning of the word “troia” has nothing to do with Helen of Troy. It is derived instead from “porcus troianus” a word used by the old romans to designate a pig full of other animals. The “wife” (sow) of “porcus troianus” was named “troia”.
I’m 100% Italian and 2-3-4 don’t exist.. we don’t talk like that. “Polpo” oh my gosh! I say “polpo” only when I’m at the restaurant and I want to eat octopus.
Ciao Ilaria,
Appreciate your feedback. However, a quick Google search of all three of the ones you indicated will show you that in fact people (Italians) DO and more importantly CAN say these things. The article is to teach new expressions, not necessarily common expressions, not necessarily everyday expressions but funny idioms. Just because you don’t say it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. In Tuscany for example we use the avere la scimmia sulla spalla very frequently. I even know someone with a tattoo of this, just to show his utter drunken stupidity. Your comment is a bit like saying you cant have any fun with Italian, you can’t ever describe someone as an octopus or as a “clinger” as we say in English. While I can appreciate what you mean, it’s far too narrow of a scope! We intend this article as a fun “play” on language, not necessarily giving out the most literal, commonly used and polite phrases.